Airport Wi-Fi, Mug o' Beer and Jokes?
October 08, 2004 | 
15 Comments
So I’m stuck at the airport on my way down to Vegas for the weekend. I made the mistake of trying to fly stand-by to Sin City on a Friday. What the hell was I thinking?
Oh, yeah, it’s Vegas.
So anyway, I’d be bored to death were it not for my Wi-Fi connection and this gigantic mug of beer I’ve got here to keep me company.
So, anyone know any good jokes?
Filed under: News
Comments
1. Keith said:
Oh, and to add to the “ambiance” Barry White’s Greatest Hits is absolutely blaring in here. It’s straight-up comedy.
Posted on October 8, 2004 01:11 PM | #
2. Ty said:
Whaddya doin’ in Vegas brother?
Anyway, I know the feeling…Here is a funny to help pass the time.
Posted on October 8, 2004 01:18 PM | #
3. Joel LaTondress said:
No jokes, but a real story about leaving Vegas in July…
It took me 45 mins to go through security after forgetting my torch cigar lighter in my carry-on. I finally get through, fuming, ready to throw punches. Before sitting down, I glance over at the guy two seats down from me. His orange shirt reads Nevada State Prison (or something to that affect). I’ll bet you a hundred bucks that guy got through security quicker than I did.
Good luck…
Posted on October 8, 2004 01:20 PM | #
4. Keith said:
Ty - Funny one!
Joel – Ouch…well I got through no problem…but then again, I’m a non-smoker… ;)
Posted on October 8, 2004 01:24 PM | #
5. Joel LaTondress said:
Some horrible web developer jokes…
Q: Why did the XHTML actress turn down an Oscar?
A: Because she refused to be involved in the presentation.
Q: Why was the font tag an orphan?
A: Because it didn’t have a font-family.
Q: Why do CSS designers have too many children?
A: Because they employ lots of child selectors.
Q: Why was IE5’s 3-metre wide cell in the insane asylum smaller than IE6’s 3-metre wide cell?
A: Because the width of the cell included the padding.
And my personal favourite…
Q: Why was the XHTML bird an invalid?
A: Because it wasn’t nested properly.
Posted on October 8, 2004 01:27 PM | #
6. Rob Mientjes said:
Joel, nice ones. Really punny and bad, but funny.
Sorry Keith, but I’m not funny at all. Have fun with the beer though.
Posted on October 8, 2004 01:34 PM | #
7. Aaron said:
OK, here’s my geek-filter joke.
“Did you know there’s ten kind of people in this world?.”
(Wait for it….)
“Those that get binary and those that don’t.”
My geek friends roll on the floor every time. Everyone else just gives me that blank look and walks away.
Have fun in Vegas.
Posted on October 8, 2004 02:18 PM | #
8. [m] said:
“Did you know there;s 10 kind of people in this world�
Those that get binary and those that don’t.”
Fixed.
Anyways, read some witt and wisdom(1). That will get you trough the ordeal!
1) http://www.wittandwisdom.com/home/
Posted on October 8, 2004 03:56 PM | #
9. Ray said:
This isn’t a joke… it’s a true story.
There’s an elderly couple in our neighborhood. Early 80s. Great couple. He gardens all day and she bakes for the great grandkids. Lights out at 10 and up at 6. Norman Rockwell couple for sure.
Two weeks ago he has a heart attack (i know… it’s supposed to be funny… it has a nice ending… don’t worry)… anyway… like I was saying, he had to go to the hospital for a week. Just before they released him he had an appointment with his Doctor. The doctor told him they had to do a scope. Freeze his throat and then shove a tube down there to take a look at things. The doctor told him he should get lots of rest, take a certain medication blah blah blah. Just before my neighbor was ready to leave he asked the doctor if he would give him a subscription for Viagra. The doctor looked at him and said “You just had a heart attack AND your over 80 years of age… you are in NO shape to be thinking of sex right now”. To which my grandfatherly neighbor replied… “I don’t want the Viagra for sex. I just want something to hold on to when you stick that tube down my throat”.
If you knew my neighbor you’d be on the floor laughin’ yer ass off right now. He is the kindest sweetest “old guy” you’re ever going to meet. To hear him tell the story and watch the look on his better half’s face was priceless.
Posted on October 8, 2004 04:18 PM | #
10. girlwonder said:
what’s orange and glows?
.
.
.
.
.
.
an electric carrot!
i know it was REALLy bad, but i couldn’t help myself.
Posted on October 8, 2004 04:43 PM | #
11. Lashlar said:
Aaron,
Beautiful. I’m glad I still remember my binary, otherwise I’d be one of those who were left scratching their heads in befuddlement. :-)
I’d put up some law jokes, but I think they’re only relevant to people who have studied law, and also only to those who have studied British/Australian law (you need to know the details of some obscure cases for it to work)…
Posted on October 9, 2004 05:11 PM | #
12. Mork said:
Whats black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Posted on October 10, 2004 03:54 AM | #
13. paul haine said:
Two elephants fell off a cliff, boom boom.
Posted on October 11, 2004 02:21 AM | #
14. Rick said:
What’s green and has wheels?
.
.
.
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.
.
Grass… I lied about the wheels.
Posted on October 11, 2004 08:26 AM | #
15. Andy Budd said:
Have a great time in Vegas.
Drink a few Margaritas for me, Richard and Jeremy.
Posted on October 11, 2004 08:47 AM | #
Comments are now closed